I'm really spilling my guts here, so please bear (bare?) with me, and know that any rude/mean comments will not be tolerated. I'm also very sick right now, and my head is filled with snot, not grammar.
I hate mis-judgements. When people either judge you before they give you a chance, or there is a miscommunication that makes someone think something about you that's not true. I've had more fights with my mom because she misunderstood me and I felt like she thought something about me that wasn't so than anything else (talk about a run on sentance. I just have no idea how to fix it!). I just cannot stand feeling like someone is thinking unjustly of me.
One of the biggest reasons I'm misjudged is because someone thinks that I judge them. To be more detailed, they judge me because they think I judge them because they have different ideals than I do. For instance, just because I am against abortion, it does not mean that I judge those who have had them. It's actually quite the opposite. I know that many, many woman regret their decision and it continues to haunt them¹. I can't imagine their pain and just want to give them a hug and be a friend that they so need.
I think that that is one of the big challenges for Christians. Trying to be in the world, but not of it. Trying to ignore the mis-judgements that others make (while still not being closed-minded). Trying to do good, but not have others think that they think they're "holier than thou". These are the main reasons I have so few friends...they judge me because they think I judge them.
And it is understandable that they feel that way. Many people, yes, including Christians, think they're better than others because of their beliefs, their actions, etcetera. But keep in mind that not all Christians are "bible bashing", judgemental people.
(When I say "Bible bashing", I am not refering to evangelicals or people who quote scripture, etcetera. I am refering to those who use the Bible as a weapon to demean others. Those who say "God says..." and claiming they know what "God says" when it is nowhere in the Bible, though sometimes the opposite is! Those who give Christians a bad name and pull people away from God while claiming they're doing the will of God. Those who say the scriptures are the way to heaven, yet conveniently avoid reading what God says in the book of Job about doing such things)
So these are my messages to you today-
Don't be one of those judgemental people I mentioned above who, in doing "the Lord's will", are actually pulling people away from God, and convincing them that He is that which He's not (making any sense whatsoever?). It's like this phrase I heard once: "I'm fine with God- it's Christians I can't stand" (Actually, I believe it's not just a phrase, but a book. Ah, yes, that's where I heard it...when I was looking for stuff to put on my Christmas wishlist!). I think that is true with so many of us. So don't go out there and convince people that they want to stay away from God in order to stay away from you =)
If less people were that way, then less people would assume they were being judged, and judge those who really weren't judging anyone in the first place.
But for the time being, there are people that are that way, so we need to go out of our way to give everyone a chance and not assume what's going on inside their heads or their hearts.
Please, never assume that if someone's ideals are different than yours that they think they're better than you. Give everyone a chance. And don't judge people, esspecially when you have not reason to believe they wronged you. Don't assume they want to demean you. You could be wrong, and it could be just the opposite, that they want to help you. And you may just find that by blocking them out, you missed out on a good friend.